How to find out if your child is a bully

Patricia Belton
How to find out if your child is a bully

Under no circumstances would any responsible parent want to see their kid being bullied. Bullied victims go through a lot of emotional, physical and psychological trauma. Kids can sometimes be mischievous and get involved in lots of activities. In most cases, their parents are not aware. Bullying is one of those activities. But how will you know if your child is the bully inflicting harm on other children?

Mark got a call from his daughter’s school stating she is about to be expelled from school for cyberbullying – sending mean derogative picture messages to a classmate. As he was driving to his daughter’s school, he was thinking how could that be? How can his lovely daughter be that cruel to her classmate?  Upon entering the principal’s office, he asked his daughter why she did it, but she could not answer.

Statistics show that 160 000 children skip school because of the fear of being bullied. Parents need to know that bullying is not only physical in this technological era but also presented online. Online bullying is a new trend of bullying where the bully sends mean messages and dirty pictures with comments to a vulnerable kid in the attempt to hurt, ridicule or embarrass the child.

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So what are the tendencies that drive kids to bully their peers?

Most kids who bully other children are often after dominance. It is all about power. They love throwing themselves around. Moreover, to some extent, they are the popular ones.

Bullies hold excessive anger and aggression in them, and they think the whole world is against them. Hence, they release this anger by hurting other kids.

Power play emerges in high school when kids marginalize other children they find less adorable and they decide that these kids won’t be a part of any social activity. According to a behavioural expert, ‘as children get older, this behaviour goes from glaring and normal to indirect and manipulative.

In most cases, kids become bullies through peer and social pressure. Since these children do not want to be bullied themselves, they join the bullies to be exempted.

Bullies are difficult to spot. They are charming and often socially well informed and smart.

Below are some character traits that can help parents know if their kids are bullies or not:

  • Bullies love to dominate and manipulate others
  • They blame others for their problems and get satisfaction from fear and pain of others
  • These kids lack concerns for the feelings of other children
  • They are smooth talkers in tough situations
  • They enjoy teasing other kids and pushing them around

These are, but a few signs and parents should take a serious look at their children.

Most of the time when parents find out that their kids are bullies as Mark did, they tend to be hurt and aggressive with the situation. Grounding their children and taking all their devices from them. This action would only make the situation worse.

So, what should parents do to prevent bullying?

  • The best way is to build healthy relationships. Moreover, building a healthy relationship has to do with effective communication. Communication should always be the first approved strategy.
  • The home environment must be healthy. Parents must teach their kids to tolerate differences in culture, race, religion, talents and values.
  • Parents must recognize their child’s needs because most children become bullies due to unmet needs like feeling helpless, wanting approval, recognition, etc. Parents should build self-worth in their children.
  • In this technological era, kids prefer online bullying. Checking your kids’ various social media messaging platforms like Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Snapchat, etc. to see if they are bullying others is important. With parental control apps, parents can have access to all the messages their kids send and receive. mSpy your #1 parental control app covers all that for you. It has over 25 features you can benefit from to help you identify if your kid is bullying other children.
  • Finally, you as a parent can work with your kid’s school to implement an adequate protection against retaliations and online bullying. In addition to that, spend some quality time with your kid. All children need some personal connection with their parents.

Bullying is wrong in all forms, be it physical or online. Kids must learn empathy and other virtues like kindness, compassion and respect for other children.

Be a responsible parent and help stop bullying in schools with mSpy.

mSpy – Know. Prevent. Protect.

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Patricia Belton was raised in a single-working-mother family, that’s why she’s deeply interested in family issues. She graduated from New York University with a Bachelor’s degree in Classical Literature, married, mother of 2 kids. Mrs. Belton writes for different e-journals, participates in versatile online/offline conferences and forums connected with kids and influence of technology.

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