How to prevent problems your kid meets going from middle school to high school
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Going from middle school to high school might be less stressful for your child if you know how to deal with changes and challenges your kid (or teen, huh?) faces at this particular moment in their life. Parents need to consider multiple factors to make this process as smooth as possible for kids. In this article, we will name them and give ways out.
The biggest thing that annoys any adolescent is when parents continue treating them like babies. They call and text frequently, checking if they had breakfast, get to school safely etc. It seems trivial but most parents make this mistake all the time. So the most important rule for parents: do not overprotect!
The kid at this time is ready to accept what the world has to offer for them. Michael Thompson, Ph.D. says
“Children may go through ups and downs but they find efforts to heal; find new ways for friendship, love, acceptance, etc.”
Ok, that’s was the preamble.
Here are 10 common mistakes parents make when kids are going from middle school to high school. (We won’t leave you with that – we’re giving tips!) Read on.
Peer pressure
If you’re doing great with your career, it doesn’t mean you can push, press, and impose your way of aiming high. Do not get obsessed and do not go insane with “Do you want them to recruit you into their football team?”, or worse “What the heck are you thinking?
Worrying and checking if they are good at socializing
Parents are always worried whether they screw up with parenting. They want to know if their kid has friends, takes part ACTIVELY in the community’s life, or helps local NGOs. Dating time freaks moms out: “Do girls see how handsome my son is?”, “What if my teen daughter is too tall for boys?”, etc.
Overparenting
Overparenting is not doing any good. It shows that you don’t trust your kid enough to handle things on their own. Besides, you don’t let them get new social skills, knowledge, experience people can acquire only on their own interaction with the world. Be careful, they might end up annoyed with you for that.
Control their “tech” life
You can’t forbid to love tech. You can’t forbid to use tablets, smartphones, apps, YouTube. At this age, no-no, mama! Kids sleep with devices, eat with them, and even take shower with them. You can manage their “tech love” but not forbid it at all. (As promised, we’ll tell you how to do it a little bit later).
Raising bars and putting expectations
Do not expect them to be excellent at everything they do: high scores, all-around commitment and engagement. Let them pick their pace and schedule as well as people to spend time with. Oh! Grabbed your piece of advice?
Claiming to be your kid’s BFF
Don’t ask to open up if they don’t want to. Don’t push or manipulate. Just be a good mama and enjoy that piece of info you’ve already received.
Making negative assumptions
Sometimes parents torture children with negative assumptions about places they are going to visit, people to meet, courses to attend, etc. As a result, kids do not want to ask for advice when dealing with something new in their life.
Being judgmental
Kids feel literally like fools, insecure when parents judge them for every single thing, especially for mistakes from they have made in the past. And they hate when parents “foresee” the result of their kid’s decisions considering those mistakes.
Trying to discipline
At this particular age, it’s too late. It is late to foster organizing skills and good habits by controlling or managing the stuff they have to deal on their own. Self-discipline is something they have to acquire by themselves.
Settling money issues
Your beloved and groomed kid might have problems with money. It’s not a reason to react if the situation is not critical. This issue is the most sensitive and an adolescent has to gain “financial muscles” by tackling it on their own.
Recognize yourself? Here’s what mSpy parental control in-house psychologist recommends.
- Control yourself from over pushing, imposing, manipulating, etc. Let your child decide what they really want, who they want to become. Let them know you’ll support their decision. Convey the idea that by deciding on their own they’re going to face consequences of that decision.
- Give advice like sharing your experience and that of others. Tell stories in a friendly way. Communicate the idea that other people’s mistakes can teach us.
- Offer to go out together: shopping, cafes, mama-daughter get-togethers to check the mood and a sort of spirit. At this age, kids feel insecure because they start to face consequences of their decisions.
- Do not annoy with calls and texts. Do not like or comment too much on social media because they will feel like you’re spying.
- Inspire and say the words of complete support and belief. Say how smart and skillful your kid is. Tell stories from childhood about inherent traits of character, skills and provide facts to confirm that.
- Set boundaries. See, kids might get the advantage of your “addiction” to them. They can lean on your overlove and overcare and do not take responsibilities. So let them know that from a particular period, they have to stick to a budget, and do the home routine on their own.
- Be a role model. The best example is your example. There are so many cases when kids were inspired by their parents’ achievements. One thing is adamant: when your kid sees how people respect you for who you are, they aspire to be the same. Good reason for striving, huh?
- If you still want to be fully involved in your kid’s life, if you can’t stop worrying about where your kid is, what they are doing, do it wisely. Use mSpy parental control app for monitoring purposes. Monitor sites, social media networks, and other platforms to be aware of what’s going on in your child’s life. Have additional access to messengers, text messengers, and call logs. Check on them remotely with GPS location tracker.
To track some deviant behavior use a keylogger to get useful insights about your kid’s interest, hobbies, inclinations, etc. A keylogger allows to view words, phrases, texts entered on a monitored device.
To sum up, you can always navigate between your needs as a parent and your kid’s ones. With mSpy you can do both without losing mutual trust and respect.
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